Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you.
Kaitlyn's birth mother opted not to sign the voluntary termination of rights papers today.
I cried, snapped at Eric when he called, cried some more, walked into the kitchen stared out the window, cried some more, turned on the water to wash my hands and stood there staring at the running water.... trying to remember a verse to help my heart.
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you.
I haven't decided how to feel just yet. Having faith is the easy part, exercising faith is the work that tests our heart. It's just another reminder that this is out of my hands; even though my hands did the cleaning for our Home Study;
I was NOT the one to orchestrate it.
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you.
Eric asked me this evening, "Are you still willing to do whatever it takes?"
Kaitlyn is already a part of our family,
already loved,
already cherished,
already a part of me...
WHATEVER IT TAKES.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you.
Kaitlyn's birth mother opted not to sign the voluntary termination of rights papers today.
I cried, snapped at Eric when he called, cried some more, walked into the kitchen stared out the window, cried some more, turned on the water to wash my hands and stood there staring at the running water.... trying to remember a verse to help my heart.
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you.
I haven't decided how to feel just yet. Having faith is the easy part, exercising faith is the work that tests our heart. It's just another reminder that this is out of my hands; even though my hands did the cleaning for our Home Study;
I was NOT the one to orchestrate it.
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you.
Eric asked me this evening, "Are you still willing to do whatever it takes?"
Kaitlyn is already a part of our family,
already loved,
already cherished,
already a part of me...
WHATEVER IT TAKES.
5 comments:
My heart is aching for you tonight. What difficult, frustrating, and upsetting news. I'm sure your emotions feel all over the place. Praying for you all.
Just remember, we only need the faith of a mustard seed. God will prevail. We will get that sweet girl in good time. Be patient my dear!
My heart longs to say so much but the only words coming are "I am so sorry."
If it can be of any assurance to you: this bump in the road did not come as a surprise to God. He orchestrated it this way-for His own glory. Whatever that may be....and perhaps, at this end of this long road (as it often happens), you will look back and praise God for His omniscience in doing it just as He did.
Take heart.
I too am aching for you. So close yet so far in our human minds. Praying God works mightily in Kaitlyn's birth mothers life...and also that He will be providing you with grace and peace that only He can supply.
I love your heart jean and i love that you share it with us here. Praying for you...what a beautiful day it will be when your little girl is home with you and what a wonderful testimony of HIS faithfulness you will have to share! HUGS!
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